The Rolling Girl
by Hotaurus
Summary: Just a story I created of the Vocaloid song "Rolling Girl"


The Rolling Girl

What is happening?

I don't understand, not anymore.

I suppose it's just me, or is it? I can't tell what people are thinking. Who else hides themselves like I do? All of this is slowly destroying me from the inside.

Every day, hour, minute, second, all rolling past me.

Why can't I feel happiness anymore? I want to feel something again, I really do. Did I do something wrong? I don't understand. I don't.

Dear Journal,

Wah, my first journal! I'm so excited! xD It was my birthday yesterday, I just turned 9 years old. My parents gave me you! Hopefully I can write through this journal all the way to high school. I love you mom, and dad! Summer break is comming up and I'm going to the amusment park, beach, and camping. I think there are hot springs coming up? I'll write again soon, bye bye!

Miku~

4 years later

Dear Journal,

Sorry I haven't written to you in the past couple of months. Recently it's been quite gloomy around here, so I guess it's best that I don't write as much anyways. I don't think my parents are getting along as well as they used to. I asked my teacher about it, because she told me to come to her if I have any problems. She told me it was probably only a temporary thing. On the other hand, I've gotten a boyfriend! I was so embarrased when we walked into the classroom holding hands! He is so cool, I can't believe what's happening to me! Oh, by the way his name is Shiina. I'll write again soon, bye!

Miku~

1 year later

Dear Journal,

I'm scared... My parents have not gotten any better, and I think it's actuallly gotten worse. I asked another teacher, and the same answer again. "It's probably just a temporary thing." But what if it's not? All they do is shout, and send me to my room so I don't have to listen. I don't get them anymore, what happened to us? I can feel myself seperating from my friends. I want to talk to them, but I feel too sad to. Does that make sense? How can I feel to sad to talk to someone? I've never felt this way before... and I don't mean that in a good way. I think Shiina knows something is wrong with me, but I feel bad because I can't tell him what's going on. I think something like this should be kept a secret, even if it means he has to worry a bit.

Miku...

Dear Journal,

I think I'll be writing in you more frequently. My parents have decided to get a divorce. I'm going to live with mom, but I wish I could live with both of them. Am I being selfish? Why can't they just stay together? Argh, I don't understand still, and this not knowing should be making me more scared, yet somehow I'm feeling less of anything. Shiina is being supportive, but in all honesty, it isn't helping.

Miku.

Dear Journal,

I've closed myself off now I think. From everything. I don't go much out of my room anymore, and since I moved with my dad, I'm going to a different school from the friends and my boyfriend that I've slowly distanced myself from. I don't think I will try to make any new friends at this new school. I just don't think I have that ability anymore. To socialize, to laugh, to cry, to be angry, to be tired. where have I gone? I don't understand still. I don't feel anymore, or at all. I wish someone would explain all of this to me. Is anyone else feeling the way I do? Oh well, it's not like I have anyone that I can ask that to.

-Miku

Dear Journal,

What is happening?

I don't understand, not anymore, and not for a while I haven't.

I suppose it's just me, or is it? I can't tell what people are thinking. Who else hides themselves like I do? All of this is slowly destroying me from the inside.

Every day, hour, minute, second, all rolling past me.

Why can't I feel happiness anymore? I want to feel something again, I really do. Did I do something wrong? I don't understand. I don't

Miku

Dear Journal,

I guess this is what you would call bullying? It seems to my student couseler that I am getting bullied, but I don't feel anything anyways. Everyone's words, actions, feelings... they don't phase me at all.

I'm rolling, rolling, rolling.

Everyday passes by slowly, and I can't feel anything. I'm losing myself every second. I think my situation is getting worse, but I keep going on. Sometimes I wonder how Shiina is doing, I hardly text him anymore. Maybe I should break up with him, after all, I can't feel anything for him or anyone anymore.

The bandaids keep appearing on me, but I guess I'll go to school today again anyways. It's not like I have anything else I'd want to do. But I wonder if I can want.

Miku

Dear Journal,

I can't keep going on anymore. Not like this at least. I can't say I've tried to get out of this endless rolling by everyday, but I haven't really tried anything in these past years, you know? I just want to wake up, go to school, go home, and go to sleep. That's all I want, and that's all I do. Everyday is the same for me now. There is nothing left for me in this world, maybe I should join another? Tomorrow I'll break up with Shiina, and perhaps that's just what I'll do. I'll write again soon, maybe if I still can though.

Miku

*text message*

Shiina, let's meet up at the usual train station 3 okay?

-switch to live description of break up-

"I'm sorry, Shiina."

"For what?"

"I can't go on with this any longer"

"Did I do somthing wrong?

"I think... it's just me"

"I will always love you"

"I'm sorry."

-miku turns to walk away- *mikutear, and falls to knees on the floor*

-shiina walks over, and hugs miku-

Shiina; "I'm sorry"

Miku; "for what?"

"for making you worry"

-hug/embrace-

week later

"Shinna"

"mhm?"

"Thank you"

"...for what?"

"for stopping me"

"from?"

"... rolling."

"?"

Dear Journal,

I think I'm doing wel- scratch that. I feel well.

Miku~


End file.
